Manners are usually a foundation of child rearing all over the world. I use the word "usually" because we all have run into a rude person or two either in a friendship circle or the guy (or gal) at the work water cooler or a stranger walking down the sidewalk who clearly lack the niceties manners bring to society. No matter your experience, manners are the backbone of cultured societies everywhere from the Golden Rule which touches every human and every culture to something as simple as closing your mouth as you chew. Today, the workplace and our social atmospheres are so diverse from culture to race to age it can be tough to find things in common with one another. However, there is one thing that can help bridge the gap between generations, coworkers, and even strangers and that is manners. Manners are in everything from how you sit and eat to saying please and thank you; and they can also be what makes your first impression a lasting one.
Manners versus Etiquette
There are some who believe that manners and etiquette are synonymous, and I can certainly understand why. But, a good way to look at it is manners are behavioral in nature and often taught to children at a very young age. Whereas etiquette can be looked at as a code of conduct or societal rules used in specific situations and cultures and are learned at an appropriate age. Furthermore, etiquette is usually followed by people with good manners. Manners are taught by parents and family members and etiquettes are often taught at finishing schools or specialized academies. Manners are also very similar across different cultures whereas etiquettes will vary among them.
A good example to demonstrate the difference between manners and etiquette is as simple as an introduction. Good manners mean you always introduce new individuals into a group whether in a business or social setting. The etiquette of introductions can vary based off a culture. For example, in the United States we are taught to introduce someone or yourself and shake each other's hands (in current COVID Environment, most bump elbows or forgo an act of physical introduction). However, when in Japan or China, an introduction involves a bow; in South America, Africa and other countries it can be a hug and not a handshake.
Matter of Manners
Now, let's dive into the heart of it. As we transition from children to teenagers to adults, there is something every stage has in common and that is developing and strengthening relationships. These relationships can either be personal or business, but they all begin with first impressions. What would your first impression be to meet someone for the first time and they do not smile at you or give you their name or even reach out to shake your hand. Immediately, I would be put off by the lack of enthusiasm and manners in a simple introduction. I cannot imagine a situation like that would garner anything positive. Will Rogers once said, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." Some believe it takes all of 30 seconds to make an impression and what you do in those 30 seconds can make or break you in relationships. Bad first impressions are very often hard to overcome. Set yourself up for good first impressions by making good manners a foundation into who you are and how you interact with others.
Top 10: Quick and Easy Must Learn Manners
1) Make eye contact when speaking to others.
2) Always say, "please" and "thank you" and when in doubt, always choose kindness.
3) Never interrupt conversation.
4) Have proper manners at the table: chew with mouth closed, place napkin in your lap, do not reach across the table for something, ask for someone to pass it.
5) Put away your phone at the dinner table or in business meetings.
6) Say, "excuse me" when you would like to get someone's attention; or, say "excuse me" when you would like to leave the table.
7) Keep foul language out of the conversation.
8) Always introduce those in your group who are not familiar. Learn the proper way to introduce.
9) No matter your age, always address your elders properly with "sir" or "ma'am".
10) Cover your mouth with your elbow when you cough or sneeze.
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